Post by Mickey on Jul 23, 2011 17:42:08 GMT -5
[ For Liz to read, and anyone else who wants to, I guess. This is the start of a Homestuck fan role play between my friend Connor and I. I don't know how much you'll enjoy it because you don't really know him so you might not really get his TOTALLY IRONIC humor but whatever...
Also it mimics Andrew Hussie's Homestuck humor, so if you haven't read the webcomic you won't understand it and you probably won't think it's that funny, either.
But yeah.
Enjoy anyway. ]
>Enter name.
Your name is MICKEY. It is an INSANELY HOT summer day because in the south all summer days are INSANELY HOT. It is also PAYDAY. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You spend the majority of your time on your COMPUTER. When you're not playing SOLITAIRE, you are often found TEXTING or HANGING OUT with some the few people you ACTUALLY LIKE. You love listening to MUSIC on your iPod. You also enjoy RUNNING and like to WRITE, but you never actually FINISH anything.
Your pesterchum handle is mechanicalMessiah and you almost always speak in a bright and cheerful manner!
Mickey sits at her computer and idly checks her ringing chat client, her blinking pesterchum alerting her of a chum attempting to pester her. She’s just come in after a long run in the unbearable southern heat, and rivulets of sweat run down the back of her neck and down the collar of her shirt. Her overhead fan turns violently, cooling her hot skin.
She isn’t much of a gamer, but her best friend, Kat, is. She convinced Mickey to try the new Sburb beta before she left for vacation, who, in turn, convinced Connor to check it out with her while Kat was absent. She’s just purchased the beta today.
>Show Pesterlog
Mickey quickly disappears from her computer for a moment to retrieve the beta from her knit backpack, leaving her friend to wait as he installs the client application. She finds both copies of the beta, the server and the client, still sealed inside the plastic bag it was stuffed in upon purchasing. She installs the client and then the connection is established.
>Be ES.
You are now CONNOR. You are at the beach with your FAMILY, whom you hate. You have locked yourself in the bedroom with the shitty Internet connection that has a tendency to DISAPPEAR and create AWKWARD SITUATIONS. You have been working on getting a TAN, but instead you have gotten blotches of sunburn. They itch like a MOFO. When you aren't lying in bed and wishing life would improve, you are READING WEBLOGS and WATCHING ANIME.
Your pesterchum handle is emperorScorpion and you speak with near perfect syntax and brooding cynicism.
Connor has locked himself in his room and is sitting on Facebook waiting for someone to come online and talk with him. This is a double standard, since he has taken everyone offline except for six people and he hardly ever initiates the conversation. So once again he's online watching the Chat stay on Idle when his Pesterchum application lights up. It is a pester from his chum, Mickey. In a conversation we just had (like, really, don't you remember?) Mickey runs off to collect her client copy.
While he waits, Connor begins to install the server copy. It actually achieves this very quickly, since there is absolutely nothing else on this computer besides the Internet browser. Why even have a computer? Whatever.
When it finishes loading, Connor is able to see into Mickey's BEDROOM. It is tidy-- probably because her father made her clean it the week before. There is, however, a black tank top winking from behind her bed. Connor decides to do some tidying up and pulls his cursor over to clean up the article of clothing.
Mickey takes this moment to reenter her room while the tank top is suspended in midair.
>Show Pesterlog
>Deploy Cruxtruder
Connor opens the SBURB Phernalia Registry and finds the first item: the Cruxtruder. It has a large hub and a pad. There is also a screen near the bottom that doesn't display anything right now but will later. He's not sure how he knows that. It's deployed in the middle of Mickey's room, barring access from her computer.
>Be the other girl.
Well, shit.
Luckily, smart phones are all the rage in today's modern technology, and now with the download of a new pesterchum app, Mickey's chums can follow her anywhere and pester her at anytime. She (fortunately) almost always keeps her phone on her wherever she goes due to some paranormal fear that disaster will strike at any given moment and that someone somewhere in the world will need to contact her at that given moment. She quickly logs onto pesterchumMOBILE to contact her host about the enormous device dropped in the middle of her bedroom.
>Show Pesterlog
Mickey watches as the Cruxtruder is lifted from her bedroom and through the ceiling, leaving an enormous, gaping hole in the plaster as he relocates the machine upstairs.
Connor rolls the cursor over the interface of the game to find the revise option, and he drags a square over the huge new gap in the ceiling of his friend's bedroom. The ceiling is restored, but it uses up some of the little grist he's stored.
>ES: Do it before she puts a hole through you.
Connor begins looking online for a walkthrough for SBURB. There isn't one at the moment, considering the novelty of the release. There was however a lengthy forum thread on the subject. He immersed himself into the conversation to glean new info. This could take awhile.
>Skip ahead an hour.
Connor returns to the SBURB window with his trove of new information.
>Show Pesterlog.
Mickey seems busy with something in a different room so Connor decides to act without her. He lifts a stool and then drops it on the pad to release the Kernel Sprite. The stool then falls and crashes into the scary, hissing turtle's cage. The creature is thrown into the Kernel Sprite and is prototyped in a dazzling burst of light.
Shit. Something bad just happened. Connor can't stop worrying about it. It looks like Mickey is about to walk outside of wherever she was see the hideous prototyped turtlesprite. There's only one thing to do.
>Be the militant girl.
You are way too inexperienced to be the militant girl at this time. Maybe when you can get the other girl into the Inciphisphere you'll be able to play as this tough cookie. Until then you'll have to settle for the moody boy.
>Be the moody boy.
You were already the moody boy! And Mickey is now about to see the...
>Show Pesterlog.
Connor then deploys the last machine: the Alchemiter. The very last item to be deployed at no cost of build grist is the pre-punched card, which he sets carefully beside the totem lathe placed in the upstairs loft of his friend's house. He then notices the screen of the Cruxtruder, which has just deployed a cylindrical amount of what can only be cruxite. Since the moment he'd removed lid of the contraption, the mechanism's timer had suddenly begun counting down.
>Show Pesterlog.
>MM: Save your ass.
Mickey quickly runs into the living room to retrieve the pre-punched card from beside the Totem Lathe. It has to fit into one of these things, right? Besides the Cruxtruder deploying a giant hissing Turtlesprite and a useless dowel, and initiating a countdown for what could very well be her ultimate demise, she doesn't see any real use for the damn thing. That eliminates one of the three devices, which leaves her with a 50/50 chance of putting the punched sylladex card into the right one. She goes ahead and tries the Totem Lathe. Can't hurt, right? For some reason, Mickey is feeling sure that this is the right machine to use the pre-punched sylladex card on. This feeling of surety could possibly be part of some form of ironic foreshadowing, but is probably just because there is a sylladex card sized slot on the Totem Lathe that her punched sylladex card fits perfectly in. A tool arm that looks similar to a chisel is activated, but there is nothing on the platform.
Mickey rushes upstairs to the Cruxtruder and retrieves the cruxite dowel, and captchalogues it in her sylladex using her RAINBOW MODUS, which stores items in her sylladex according to color under ROY. G. BIV. Luckily there is nothing else stored in her sylladex, leaving the cruxite dowel easily accessible despite being so far down on the RAINBOW, beneath B, for blue. With so little time left to spare, she makes her way back to the Totem Lathe as fast as she possibly can and sets the dowel on the platform, where it's clasped in the machine. The tool arm then carves a number of contours into the cruxite, probably according to the pre-punched card, leaving Mickey with a carved TOTEM. She captchalogues the totem.
>Show Pesterlog.
>ES: Save your friend in a climactic manner.
Connor knows that his friend must take the carved totem to the Alchemiter, where the machine will scan the contours of the totem and alchemize an item that will help her to enter the Inciphisphere. While she was running around playing with the technology, he was reading through the thread that let him know an item was deployed before it came to an end. He needs a way to tell her, though. With his shitty beach house wireless internet connection though, it's nearly impossible. Except, wait. He has his phone. Dumbass.
>Save your friend in an anticlimactic manner.
Connor logs onto pesterchumMOBILE from his cell phone.
>Show Pesterlog.
>MM: No pressure.
Mickey quickly takes the totem to the Alchemiter on her back porch, and she can spot the meteor streaking across the sky where, in only a minute, it will come in contact with her house. The Turtlesprite has followed her, hissing in distress. She sets the carved totem on the smaller marked platform, and a robotic arm with a red laser scans it like a bar code.
>Connor: Get a snack
So there's nothing else you can do for Mickey at this point. Connor sits back on his bed and thinks about the delicious food that could potentially be inside his fridge. His parents didn't really bring anything good to the beach. But he remembers the cheese. He wants the cheese. He's dying for that cheese. Like, if he was in a coma, and the only thing that could save was that cheese, than that situation perfectly reflects that same desperation for cheese.
Connor gets out of bed and goes into the living room. His whore of an aunt is passed out on the couch, a glass of Sangria wine in her hand. He ignores her and heads into the kitchen. He opens the fridge and spies a block of cheese. He captchalogues it to his sylladex. His fetch modus is the unnecessarily complicated and strategic pocket modus. Captchalogued items are secured into contraptions on the sides of Connor's cargo shorts. He only has room for six items.
On his way back to his room, Connor finds the homeowner's trusty Solicitor's Deterrent Shotgun and allocates it to his Shotgunkind Strife Specibus. Those rascally solicitors- they'll get you, they will.
When he returns to his room, he's no longer able to see Mickey on his screen. Odd. He wonders where she went. What's her deal, anyway? Hey, you're being pestered by someone else.
>Show Pesterlog
With that, a large Cruxtruder appears in the living room area.
[ And then that's kind of where I stopped replying because I get super slack with role plays and I just suck. So yeah! ]
Also it mimics Andrew Hussie's Homestuck humor, so if you haven't read the webcomic you won't understand it and you probably won't think it's that funny, either.
But yeah.
Enjoy anyway. ]
>Enter name.
Your name is MICKEY. It is an INSANELY HOT summer day because in the south all summer days are INSANELY HOT. It is also PAYDAY. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You spend the majority of your time on your COMPUTER. When you're not playing SOLITAIRE, you are often found TEXTING or HANGING OUT with some the few people you ACTUALLY LIKE. You love listening to MUSIC on your iPod. You also enjoy RUNNING and like to WRITE, but you never actually FINISH anything.
Your pesterchum handle is mechanicalMessiah and you almost always speak in a bright and cheerful manner!
Mickey sits at her computer and idly checks her ringing chat client, her blinking pesterchum alerting her of a chum attempting to pester her. She’s just come in after a long run in the unbearable southern heat, and rivulets of sweat run down the back of her neck and down the collar of her shirt. Her overhead fan turns violently, cooling her hot skin.
She isn’t much of a gamer, but her best friend, Kat, is. She convinced Mickey to try the new Sburb beta before she left for vacation, who, in turn, convinced Connor to check it out with her while Kat was absent. She’s just purchased the beta today.
>Show Pesterlog
-- emperorScorpion [ES] began pestering mechanicalMessiah [MM] at 15:12 --
ES: Did you get the game today?
MM: yeah! did you?!
ES: Yeah. I’ll start installing it so we can play.
MM: cool! I can’t wait!
ES: Me neither. This actually looks kind of cool. Where did KK see it?
MM: the uh… gamebro magazine I think?? yeah.
ES: Are you installing it now?
MM: oh, no. I left it in my bag I think. hang on!! I’ll go get it!
ES: Hurry back. I think I’m installing the server application, so you need to install the client, and then we can connect.
MM: mkay!
Mickey quickly disappears from her computer for a moment to retrieve the beta from her knit backpack, leaving her friend to wait as he installs the client application. She finds both copies of the beta, the server and the client, still sealed inside the plastic bag it was stuffed in upon purchasing. She installs the client and then the connection is established.
>Be ES.
You are now CONNOR. You are at the beach with your FAMILY, whom you hate. You have locked yourself in the bedroom with the shitty Internet connection that has a tendency to DISAPPEAR and create AWKWARD SITUATIONS. You have been working on getting a TAN, but instead you have gotten blotches of sunburn. They itch like a MOFO. When you aren't lying in bed and wishing life would improve, you are READING WEBLOGS and WATCHING ANIME.
Your pesterchum handle is emperorScorpion and you speak with near perfect syntax and brooding cynicism.
Connor has locked himself in his room and is sitting on Facebook waiting for someone to come online and talk with him. This is a double standard, since he has taken everyone offline except for six people and he hardly ever initiates the conversation. So once again he's online watching the Chat stay on Idle when his Pesterchum application lights up. It is a pester from his chum, Mickey. In a conversation we just had (like, really, don't you remember?) Mickey runs off to collect her client copy.
While he waits, Connor begins to install the server copy. It actually achieves this very quickly, since there is absolutely nothing else on this computer besides the Internet browser. Why even have a computer? Whatever.
When it finishes loading, Connor is able to see into Mickey's BEDROOM. It is tidy-- probably because her father made her clean it the week before. There is, however, a black tank top winking from behind her bed. Connor decides to do some tidying up and pulls his cursor over to clean up the article of clothing.
Mickey takes this moment to reenter her room while the tank top is suspended in midair.
>Show Pesterlog
MM: ...whoa!!
MM: my screen changed!
ES: Right, because the floating tank top wasn't shocking.
MM: shut up! I know what this game is.
ES: Good, so you can tell me what I'm doing here.
MM: I dunno! I guess you put some machines in and we solve the puzzles.
ES: I'll get right on that.
>Deploy Cruxtruder
Connor opens the SBURB Phernalia Registry and finds the first item: the Cruxtruder. It has a large hub and a pad. There is also a screen near the bottom that doesn't display anything right now but will later. He's not sure how he knows that. It's deployed in the middle of Mickey's room, barring access from her computer.
ES: Oops, sorry.
>Be the other girl.
Well, shit.
Luckily, smart phones are all the rage in today's modern technology, and now with the download of a new pesterchum app, Mickey's chums can follow her anywhere and pester her at anytime. She (fortunately) almost always keeps her phone on her wherever she goes due to some paranormal fear that disaster will strike at any given moment and that someone somewhere in the world will need to contact her at that given moment. She quickly logs onto pesterchumMOBILE to contact her host about the enormous device dropped in the middle of her bedroom.
>Show Pesterlog
-- mechanicalMessiah [MM] began pestering emperorScorpion [ES] at 15:32 --
MM: what, do you want me to climb over it or something??
MM: what do I do with it! What is it?!
ES: Hold on. There two other machines here.
MM: well don't put them in here! jeez!!
ES: Are your parents home? I don't see them anywhere.
MM: no they went downtown and my brother is at camp this week! can you move this please?? I need to get to my computer at some point okay.
ES: I'm about to deploy the Totem Lathe, okay? I'm going to put it in the living room.
MM: what??
ES: Okay, it's in the living room. I'll deploy the Alchemiter now too. It'll be on your back porch.
MM: move this first!
ES: Fine. Where do I put it?
MM: I guess put it upstairs...
Mickey watches as the Cruxtruder is lifted from her bedroom and through the ceiling, leaving an enormous, gaping hole in the plaster as he relocates the machine upstairs.
ES: Oh, shit.
MM: I am going to kill you!! fix this hole right now!
ES: Okay, hang on. There's a revise button.
Connor rolls the cursor over the interface of the game to find the revise option, and he drags a square over the huge new gap in the ceiling of his friend's bedroom. The ceiling is restored, but it uses up some of the little grist he's stored.
ES: Well, that sucks. Apparently I have to use "grist" to build or repair. We don't have very much of it though and I don't know where to get more.
MM: check online for a walkthrough!
ES: Isn't that cheating?
MM: no.
ES: What is it then?
MM: it's just another way of winning. now do it! If I end up with another hole in my house and you can't fix it I'm going to put a hole through you!!
>ES: Do it before she puts a hole through you.
Connor begins looking online for a walkthrough for SBURB. There isn't one at the moment, considering the novelty of the release. There was however a lengthy forum thread on the subject. He immersed himself into the conversation to glean new info. This could take awhile.
>Skip ahead an hour.
Connor returns to the SBURB window with his trove of new information.
>Show Pesterlog.
-- emperorScorpion [ES] began pestering mechanicalMessiah [MM] at 16:43 --
ES: Mickey, I know what to do now.
Mickey seems busy with something in a different room so Connor decides to act without her. He lifts a stool and then drops it on the pad to release the Kernel Sprite. The stool then falls and crashes into the scary, hissing turtle's cage. The creature is thrown into the Kernel Sprite and is prototyped in a dazzling burst of light.
MM: Connor what the hell just happened?
ES: Nothing. Don't worry about it.
Shit. Something bad just happened. Connor can't stop worrying about it. It looks like Mickey is about to walk outside of wherever she was see the hideous prototyped turtlesprite. There's only one thing to do.
>Be the militant girl.
You are way too inexperienced to be the militant girl at this time. Maybe when you can get the other girl into the Inciphisphere you'll be able to play as this tough cookie. Until then you'll have to settle for the moody boy.
>Be the moody boy.
You were already the moody boy! And Mickey is now about to see the...
MM: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS THING!?
>Show Pesterlog.
ES: It's your kernelsprite.
MM: GET. IT. OUT!!!
ES: It's supposed to help you. Somehow.
MM: IT'S GOING TO KILL ME!
ES: It can't be that bad.
MM: WHY IS IT A TURTLE?!?
ES: I prototyped it. With your turtle.
MM: THAT TURTLE IS SO SCARY!! AHH
Connor then deploys the last machine: the Alchemiter. The very last item to be deployed at no cost of build grist is the pre-punched card, which he sets carefully beside the totem lathe placed in the upstairs loft of his friend's house. He then notices the screen of the Cruxtruder, which has just deployed a cylindrical amount of what can only be cruxite. Since the moment he'd removed lid of the contraption, the mechanism's timer had suddenly begun counting down.
>Show Pesterlog.
ES: Maybe it's just my history of gaming, but for some reason, I don't take the Cruxtruder's countdown to be a New Year's Eve tradition.
MM: what's that mean?
ES: It means, I'm pretty sure it's counting down to disaster and you're going to die in 4 minutes and 55 seconds if we don't do something to stop it.
MM: ... oh. okay. well. maybe we should do something to STOP IT THEN??
ES: I'm working on it. I'm looking through the thread online but everything seems to stop here.
MM: well that's always a good sign. oh wait, no it isn't.
ES: I realize that. I think we're supposed to do something with the pre-punched card.
MM: like put it into one of these giant useless machines probably.
ES: ... Shut up and go save your ass.
>MM: Save your ass.
Mickey quickly runs into the living room to retrieve the pre-punched card from beside the Totem Lathe. It has to fit into one of these things, right? Besides the Cruxtruder deploying a giant hissing Turtlesprite and a useless dowel, and initiating a countdown for what could very well be her ultimate demise, she doesn't see any real use for the damn thing. That eliminates one of the three devices, which leaves her with a 50/50 chance of putting the punched sylladex card into the right one. She goes ahead and tries the Totem Lathe. Can't hurt, right? For some reason, Mickey is feeling sure that this is the right machine to use the pre-punched sylladex card on. This feeling of surety could possibly be part of some form of ironic foreshadowing, but is probably just because there is a sylladex card sized slot on the Totem Lathe that her punched sylladex card fits perfectly in. A tool arm that looks similar to a chisel is activated, but there is nothing on the platform.
Mickey rushes upstairs to the Cruxtruder and retrieves the cruxite dowel, and captchalogues it in her sylladex using her RAINBOW MODUS, which stores items in her sylladex according to color under ROY. G. BIV. Luckily there is nothing else stored in her sylladex, leaving the cruxite dowel easily accessible despite being so far down on the RAINBOW, beneath B, for blue. With so little time left to spare, she makes her way back to the Totem Lathe as fast as she possibly can and sets the dowel on the platform, where it's clasped in the machine. The tool arm then carves a number of contours into the cruxite, probably according to the pre-punched card, leaving Mickey with a carved TOTEM. She captchalogues the totem.
>Show Pesterlog.
MM: okay I have this thing now what do I do with it?
MM: ES??
MM: the timer is running out!!
MM: Connor?!?
-- emperorScorpion [ES] is no longer connected! --
MM: ... shitttttt... stupid wifi connection....!!
-- mechanicalMessiah [MM] changed her mood to RANCOROUS --
>ES: Save your friend in a climactic manner.
Connor knows that his friend must take the carved totem to the Alchemiter, where the machine will scan the contours of the totem and alchemize an item that will help her to enter the Inciphisphere. While she was running around playing with the technology, he was reading through the thread that let him know an item was deployed before it came to an end. He needs a way to tell her, though. With his shitty beach house wireless internet connection though, it's nearly impossible. Except, wait. He has his phone. Dumbass.
>Save your friend in an anticlimactic manner.
Connor logs onto pesterchumMOBILE from his cell phone.
>Show Pesterlog.
-- emperorScorpion [ES] began pestering mechanicalMessiah [MM] at 16:48 --
ES: You have about two minutes to take the totem to the Alchemiter. Also, a meteor is heading straight for your house. No pressure.
MM: WHAT?!?!?
>MM: No pressure.
Mickey quickly takes the totem to the Alchemiter on her back porch, and she can spot the meteor streaking across the sky where, in only a minute, it will come in contact with her house. The Turtlesprite has followed her, hissing in distress. She sets the carved totem on the smaller marked platform, and a robotic arm with a red laser scans it like a bar code.
>Connor: Get a snack
So there's nothing else you can do for Mickey at this point. Connor sits back on his bed and thinks about the delicious food that could potentially be inside his fridge. His parents didn't really bring anything good to the beach. But he remembers the cheese. He wants the cheese. He's dying for that cheese. Like, if he was in a coma, and the only thing that could save was that cheese, than that situation perfectly reflects that same desperation for cheese.
Connor gets out of bed and goes into the living room. His whore of an aunt is passed out on the couch, a glass of Sangria wine in her hand. He ignores her and heads into the kitchen. He opens the fridge and spies a block of cheese. He captchalogues it to his sylladex. His fetch modus is the unnecessarily complicated and strategic pocket modus. Captchalogued items are secured into contraptions on the sides of Connor's cargo shorts. He only has room for six items.
On his way back to his room, Connor finds the homeowner's trusty Solicitor's Deterrent Shotgun and allocates it to his Shotgunkind Strife Specibus. Those rascally solicitors- they'll get you, they will.
When he returns to his room, he's no longer able to see Mickey on his screen. Odd. He wonders where she went. What's her deal, anyway? Hey, you're being pestered by someone else.
>Show Pesterlog
-- katsKradle [KK] began pestering emperorScorpion [ES] at 16:55 --
KK: hey is this conner?
ES: No.
ES: This is Connor.
KK: whatever
ES: So what's up?
ES: You've never pestered me before.
KK: i just want to know why mickey entered the medium with you as her server
KK: when ive been bugging her to play this game with me for ages
ES: Oh, I'm sorry.
KK: but since its started i guess
KK: i have to be your server
ES: Actually, I don't feel up to playing anymore tonight.
ES: I'm kind of sleepy and I want to go to sleep.
ES: Because...
ES: That's what you do.
ES: When you're sleepy. You sleep.
KK: ...
KK: yeah i get that
KK: but you know theres a meteor heading for your house right now
ES: Wait, I thought that didn't start happening until we use the Cruxtruder.
KK: no
KK: the meteors are destined to fall at the same time
KK: the countdown just isnt visible
ES: So I have to play this thing right now?
KK: yeah
ES: Shit.
With that, a large Cruxtruder appears in the living room area.
[ And then that's kind of where I stopped replying because I get super slack with role plays and I just suck. So yeah! ]